This being the internet, I’m sure you’ve all heard about the scary clown “terrorizing” a town in England, by um… being a clown, and letting people see it.
Okay, the scary clown terrorizing people isn’t knocking on doors, slowly waving at playgrounds, chasing people with knives, or doing anything that the clowns in Killer Klowns From Outer Space did — it’s just being a clown, and somehow this is international news.
Dude. Internet. We really need to get a grip here with the group think. Yes, bacon is delicious, clowns are scary, Firefly was canceled too soon, and the ladies like Benedict Cumberbatch. But how is this a world gripping mystery? Man or possibly woman wears clown costume, news at 11!
A Facebook page titled “Spot Northhampton’s Clown” has more than 127,000 likes and is… get this… run by the clown himself, apparently. So the mystery undeepens. It’s just a dude in a clown costume that wants local fame. Terrorizing? He’s playing a Facebook-based game of hide and seek, for crying out loud.
You can even read first-person clown-sourced accounts, where he says:
“I hope to have answered a few of your questions which should be in the ‘Northampton Chronicle” paper tomorrow or be able to view online tonight or tomorrow morning… Be seeing you all very soon!”
OH MY GOD THE HORROR! Speaking to newspapers and cheerfully promising appearances! It’s like The Blair Witch Project all over again! Is this real life?
Way back on September 16, the scary town terrorizing Northhampton posted this frightening update, in which he threatened to… stop appearing if people found him so scary, because that really wasn’t the point at all. How adorably British.
Scary Clown UK says :
“So glad there’s a picture from last night. I didn’t wear my clown shoes as they’ve got holes in them from all the drains I’ve been climbing into… I was in Abington yesterday before it rained but there seems to be no pictures so I weren’t spotted.”
He is happy, however, to drive some local business — and saddened at the reports he’s terrorizing locals:
“I’m also ‘not’ apart of Dr Fright’s Night for those interested but it seems to be promoting them and others which is great! I “haven’t” been knocking on houses and asking to paint window sills!? I may have to change my appearance as the actor in that ‘Local Clown’ film has the same costume as me.”
He concludes:
“If what i am doing does get too much for people, I will have to stop.”
So there you have it. The scary clown terrorizing the town of Northhampton is really just a dude with a Facebook page. International mystery solved.