When Taylor Swift Revealed She Couldn’t Forgive Herself For a Mistake She Made As a 5-Year-Old Child

Taylor Swift once offered a vital lesson on forgiving oneself in a cover story for Elle magazine back in 2019 when she turned 30 by discussing a profoundly intimate childhood incident that left an indelible effect on her life.

She remembered her mother's comments to her, writing, “My mom always tells me that when I was a little kid, she never had to punish me for misbehaving because I would punish myself even worse. I’d lock myself in my room and couldn’t forgive myself, as a five-year-old.”

Swift's revelation speaks to many people who have struggled with self-imposed ideals of excellence since a young age. Swift was able to self-reflect on a destructive habit of punishing herself for mistakes as a result of this emotional revelation, revealing insight into the early beginnings of her perfectionism and self-criticism—qualities that have played a vital part in molding her career and personal path.

Swift also shared how she continues to practice her childhood habits in her adult life and how things affect her. She admits that when she thinks she has made a mistake, whether in her personal or professional life, she not only isolates herself but also engages in self-criticism. “I realized that I do the same thing now when I feel I’ve made a mistake, whether it’s self-imposed exile or silencing myself and isolating,” she opened up.

Swift then writes about the poignant realization that has come through this, adding that she feels she has to "let it go," writing, “I’ve come to a realization that I need to be able to forgive myself for making the wrong choice, trusting the wrong person, or figuratively falling on my face in front of everyone. Step into the daylight and let it go.”

The lessons Swift shared in the Elle cover story are moving and beautiful. One of them, number 18 on the list, discusses key aspects of personal growth, emphasizing the significance of acknowledging childhood scars and actively working to heal them. She shared a personal example, revealing that not being popular during her childhood always remained a source of insecurity. “Even as an adult, I still have recurring flashbacks of sitting at lunch tables alone or hiding in a bathroom stall, or trying to make a new friend and being laughed at,” she writes.

Swift went on to describe how, in her twenties, she found herself surrounded by girls eager to be her friends. “So I shouted it from the rooftops, posted pictures, and celebrated my newfound acceptance into a sisterhood, without realizing that other people might still feel the way I did when I felt so alone,” she expressed. She finally underscored the importance of addressing enduring issues from our past, warning that soon, we might “turn into the living embodiment of them.”