Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on April 29, 2023. It has since been updated.
Trigger Warning: This article contains themes of suicide that some readers may find distressing.
The Drew Barrymore Show had a special guest for its Wednesday episode : 24-year-old singer and TikTok star Madison Beer. During the conversation, Beer opened up to Barrymore about her two suicide attempts . The young star also explained why she once told a friend that she wanted ‘temporary death.’
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According to Insider , Beer told Barrymore that her suicide attempts occurred because she was ‘avoiding issues she should have been facing’ and was ‘putting on this facade in public’ instead. She explained, “One day turned into weeks and months, and, honestly, I feel like it was at least a year that I was always in this sort of, like, suicidal ideation mindset.” The Reckless singer added that she would think about ending her life at the end of the day every day until her first attempt, which was ‘thankfully, obviously unsuccessful.’ Beer also mentioned that the second attempt was something that she often brushes off in conversation.
“It became so normal that sitting on a balcony and debating jumping off was just something that I kind of did,” Beer continued. With this, the 50 First Dates star also opened up about her own vulnerability while applauding Beer for discussing her personal issues publically. “I don’t know if I really wanted to leave the earth. I was so desperate that I did not know where else to turn,” Barrymore said. Beer expressed to Barrymore that she “understood the feeling of not wanting to die forever, but wanting to escape.”
“There’s no way to describe it. I always used to say to my best friend, I just want a temporary death, like maybe it’s not forever but right now it’s too much and I want out currently,” Beer continued, to which Barrymore said, “Everybody struggles, so I related on levels that are difficult to talk about and I want to thank you because you’re discussing stuff right now that I want to make you feel safe about because I’ve been there.”
The Daily Mail reported that the 24-year-old singer has recently published the memoir The Half of It: A Memoir , which discusses depression, and the topic on The Drew Barrymore Show revolved around the same. Beer explained how she searched for the will to live after her suicide attempts. “And that’s when I also decided, ‘Okay clearly there’s something more for me to live for.’ I wasn’t successful and I want to do something with that. I want to be able to say I made the choice to live and what am I gonna do now, what does that mean?”
Barrymore asked Beer how she found her way back, to which the musician said that she had to ask herself these same questions many times. Beer said, “I still ask it. I think my biggest thing though was I started doing a lot of inner child work, I started healing the little girl in me very seriously and that was something I dove in head first. I was like this has to be what I start with, I have to start at the beginning of where I feel like this pain is coming from. So I really took that seriously, I went on a couple mental health retreats.”
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Beer also did therapy every single day of the week. “I just really committed to getting to better, whatever better even means. I started to love myself the same way I try to love other people.” Barrymore then said she loved Beer and spoke about how the journey to mental health is ‘an incredible roller coaster’ where one has to be proactive to seek help, find self-awareness, and give grace to yourself. Beer first found viral fame when Justin Bieber shared a video of her singing at age 13. She released her debut single, Melodies , in 2013 and her debut EP, As She Pleases , in 2018.
SUICIDE: If you are having thoughts about taking your own life or know of anyone who is, please contact The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433).