Kristen Stewart Once Called Herself 'Freak' For Not Handling Her Childhood Fame Well: "Really Hard Time"

Fame is a double-edged sword, especially when one is still a child. Twilight fame Kristen Stewart suffered at the hands of stardom early on in life and believed she handled it like a "freak." Although the vampire movie gave her world recognition, she originally shot to fame after the film Panic Room. 

Stewart became a Hollywood A-lister at the age of 18, and she was bombarded with attention from the media and her fans. The 33-year-old actress felt she couldn't handle the fame in the healthiest possible way, as per Showbiz CheatSheet.

She was fascinated by the art form from a young age primarily because her parents were part of the entertainment industry. Both her parents were creative people; her mother was a scriptwriter, and her father was a film director. Hence, unsurprisingly, Stewart followed in their footsteps but chose to face the camera, unlike her mom and dad, who were behind it. But as a self-proclaimed socially awkward person, she was uncomfortable with being "recognized."

The Spencer actress recalled while talking to Radio Times, "People would come up to me when I was eating with my family in a restaurant or something, and I would always just curl up into myself in a ridiculous manner," as reported by Irish Independent. "My family would be so embarrassed, and it would be like, 'Kristen, what are you doing? Just be nice and say hello.' And I honestly don't know what my problem was."

She candidly discussed her complicated relationship with fame. "I think it's natural that 13-year-olds can be pretty insecure, but what's unnatural about it was that I wasn't insecure," Stewart explained. "I loved talking to people, normally….It's just fame. That's what I had a really hard time with." 

The Oscar nominee believed how she handled her fame as a young girl influenced people's opinions about her and her personality. "I was such a freak with all that stuff in the beginning, and that's why everyone thought I was such a weirdo. I was definitely overly self-conscious," Stewart admitted. 

Despite her unwillingness to be always in the spotlight, Stewart was destined to be famous. She couldn't escape it, especially after Twilight became a massive success and fans eagerly awaited the sequels. The American actress had no issues filming for a longer time and absolutely loved playing her character as a love interest of a vampire. However, the fame that followed bothered her. 

She also acknowledged that for years to come, she would be recognized as Bella Swan. "I acknowledge that people will absolutely identify me with Bella forever, and it's had a hand in giving me everything that I have, which is a lot." Adding, "But whether, personally, that was the one that defined me? Probably not."

She also stressed the fact that an actor's life is of loneliness. "Actors become so isolated. It's like people aren't allowed to talk to us. Like if you're a big star, or whatever, if you're like a famous person, it's kind of lonely. Like people don't want to talk to you," she said. Stewart also clarified being an actor is not what it looks like on the surface. 

"I think it's people who want to be movie stars – and this is such bullshit – but life really is a huge driving force in so many actors and actresses. Solely. And they won't be happy at the end because they're not doing anything for themselves; everything is for someone else."