Jennifer Lopez Didn't Want to File for Divorce With Ben Affleck— Shares One Thing She's Grateful About

Jennifer Lopez is trying to move on from one of the toughest phases after filing for divorce from Ben Affleck. The Love Don't Cost a Thing hitmaker ended their marriage citing 'irreconcilable differences' in August. "She was very upset about it," a source told People, "She didn't want to file for divorce. She just felt like she had no choice. Nothing was gonna change with Ben." The source added, "But true to her positive outlook on life, she's moving forward with optimism. Instead of feeling like she's fallen flat on her face, she sees it was meant to be. She's taking time for herself right now."

The source continued, "She knows she lives a privileged life in so many ways. She's very grateful for all the beautiful memories with Ben, but she's now focused on creating the best future for herself and her kids." Lopez recently opened up about her life after divorce with Nikki Glaser in an exclusive with Interview magazine, “You have to be good on your own. I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to be like, ‘I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that.’” The On the Floor singer stated that happiness is being oneself while obliquely referencing her tumultuous period, “Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself.”

Lopez also clarified that she chooses to remain single at the moment, “Here’s the thing,” she said. “There’s no new bar because I’m not looking for anybody. How’s that?” She added, “I’m not looking for anybody, because of everything that I’ve done over the past 25, 30 years, being in these different challenging situations, what can I f--king do when it’s just me flying on my own. What if I’m just free?” She acknowledged that she had not anticipated her life taking such an unexpected change and that it was “not what I thought it was going to turn out like". But added, “This is exactly where I needed to be, to lead me to where I want to go.” 

Meanwhile, Affleck has been harboring a lot of 'guilt' after his split from Lopez. According to OK Magazine, a close source revealed that the Argo star has been going through a roller coaster of emotions. "Ben may come across looking all happy and cheery. And he is, for the most part, but he certainly has his down moments," the source revealed. "As much as he was relieved to escape this marriage, the divorce has still taken a toll on him. His reputation has taken a huge hit and he’s grappling with a lot of guilt." The source concluded. “Ben has a darkness to him that no other person can fix. [His ex-wife] Jennifer Garner couldn’t fix it, all the success in the world couldn’t fix it."