Diddy’s Final Words at Kim Porter’s Funeral Revealed: "I Was Going Through a Real Dark Time..."

Trigger Warning: This article contains themes of sexual assault and domestic violence that some readers may find distressing.

Sean "Diddy" Combs’ notoriety precedes him but the disgraced rapper reportedly preserved ardent feelings for the late supermodel and his ex-girlfriend, Kim Porter. Her demise in 2018 brought out an emotional outburst from Diddy while attending her funeral. An audio of the heartfelt eulogy for Porter, released by TMZ, has resurfaced in light of his September arrest in New York, with many speculating if he was also abusive towards his late ex-partner. 

Porter and Diddy were involved in an on-again-off-again relationship from 1994 to 2007 and share three children, Christian, Jessie James, and D’Lila Star. "She was my friend first. She was my confidante. She was like my guidance, still is. I was just open. We fell in love and honestly, her love was too much for me to handle. It was a lot to handle to take in," Diddy confessed at her hometown funeral in Cascade Hills Church in Columbus, Georgia, per People. He reminisced about the kind of lover Porter was in his speech and was later spotted weeping in front of her father, Jake Porter. 

Despite his little experience with love, Diddy said the late ex-girlfriend was patient and loved him unconditionally. Diddy shared with the other mourners that he "didn't really understand like how to love” but she “started breaking down the exterior of any shell” he tried to build. In addition, Porter reportedly helped him battle depression at a time when she and Diddy were not even dating. "From the top of the year, I was going through a real dark time and was really depressed … and she would come over and make sure (I was OK). We wasn't together like that but she was that type of person," the Bad Boy Records founder revealed in the audio. 

However, after the rapper’s recent arrest in New York as he was slammed with a plethora of allegations around sex trafficking, racketeering conspiracy, and waves of sexual abuse lawsuits from the 1990s, some of Porter’s family are suspicious about her past relationship with Diddy. As per the Irish Star, a relative expressed, “If she were my daughter, I would be demanding that the investigation be re-opened. I remember Kim as a little girl—she was just the sweetest little girl.” They hinted that Porter seemed unlike herself when they visited her in California amid her affair with Diddy. “Now I feel in my spirit he's guilty, but justice will just have to take its course,” the unnamed family member stated. 

A lot has happened since Diddy’s arrest. Call it timing, but the late Kim Porter's new 60-page memoir, Kim’s Lost Words: A Journey for Justice, was published on September 6 amidst Diddy’s allegations. It was reportedly based on her diary entries during her romance with the rapper and detailed many of Comb’s parties, illicit acts, and alleged abuse towards herself, per USA Today. Producer Todd Christopher Guzze authored the book under the pseudonym Jamal T. Millwood. But it was pulled out of Amazon and Barnes & Nobles’ online stores after Diddy and Porter’s three children called it out as 'false' and 'hurtful' of their sentiments while defending their parents’ former romance. 

If you are being subjected to sexual assault, or know of anyone who is, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673).

If you are being subjected to domestic abuse or know of anyone else who is, please visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline website, call 1-800-799-7233 or text LOVEIS to 22522.