Former President Barack Obama remained really composed when his daughters, Sasha and Malia Obama, began dating.
Even though Malia and Sasha, both of whom are well into their 20s, are likely leading their own dating lives now, the former first daughters went through their adolescent milestones while Barack was president. As a result, their parents, including former First Lady Michelle Obama, spoke to the media about their parenting approach—or lack thereof.
For instance, the pair hadn’t given any thought to their daughters’ dating lives in 2014. Michelle told Ryan Seacrest, “You know Barack, and I try to make sure that Malia and Sasha can lead as normal of a life as possible.” “I’m not sure what his plan is. We haven’t discussed it much. We’ll deal with that later.
Speaking of his daughters, President Obama said, “Of all that I’ve done in my life, I’m most proud to be your dad.” https://t.co/YyOi2eoqcb pic.twitter.com/rgCVDpIBfg
— The New York Times (@nytimes) January 11, 2017
Their parents have undoubtedly had plenty of time to catch up because Malia and Sasha have been involved in a number of private but somewhat public romances in the ten years since. Thankfully, Michelle Obama told Robin Roberts at the 2022 book promotion for “The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times” that Barack was “good with it” and never really took any harsh actions once his daughters began dating (via ABC News).
“Look, they’re 21 and 24 years old. They were high school students. They attended prom. They’ve experienced life. Additionally, he has learned how to be a worried yet reasonable Black father. When Nicki Swift, a news website, contacted Dr. Kim Van Dusen, a certified play therapist, and licensed marriage and family therapist, explained why Barack’s response to his daughter’s dating was exactly right.
According to Dr. Kim Van Dusen, producer of “The Parentologist Podcast,” Parents who respond to their teenagers’ dating milestones “calmly and respectfully”—as Barack Obama reportedly did with Sasha and Malia Obama—achieve better outcomes.
However, the foundation, which includes “growing a positive connection, thriving in trust, safety, and communication, and establishing respectful and healthy boundaries,” is laid before children engage in romantic relationships. “Then, once a child becomes a teen, the foundation has been set, and there is mutual trust and respect with one another, an open door policy for communication, and a secure attachment for this life stage.”
There is a way for parents who are in Barack’s shoes to bring up the subject of dating without alienating their children. “Parents can express their beliefs, thoughts, and opinions with their teen in a calm, non-threatening and non-judgmental way and also allow their kids to have a voice and varying perspectives as well,” Van Dusen said. And? During the dating period, listening is more crucial than talking, just as quick conversations are more productive than “long lectures.”
Pres. Obama to daughters Malia and Sasha: “Of all that I have done in my life, I’m most proud to be your dad.” https://t.co/dS8XgbuhUB pic.twitter.com/nrkqmC8hLz
— ABC News (@ABC) January 11, 2017
Van Dusen explained, “When kids have a strong foundation for their family’s values from a young age, they are more apt to make positive choices and healthy decisions.” And while she acknowledged, “This life stage isn’t always easy,” she added, “It’s about parents trusting the process and not overparenting or overreacting to their teen when a problem occurs.”
In simple terms, Barack did everything correctly, even though he likely had little trouble remaining composed. He joked that there was “only so much these guys could do” because of the Secret Service in an interview with ABC News in 2016. Additionally, it provided him comfort during their critical adolescent years, even though the Secret Service no longer protects Sasha and Malia.
