Baby Alligator Shoplifted By Crazy Guy Who Rolls It Under His Shirt

A baby alligator shoplifted under a dude’s shirt is officially last week’s most idiotic crime. The gator-napping occurred at a pet store in Beckley, West Virginia on Monday.

But the employees didn’t notice the gator was gone until the next morning. Employee Anthony Williams told CBS 12 that he went to feed it, realized it had vanished, and then checked out the surveillance tapes.

You can see the rather grainy video of the baby alligator shoplifting scam here.

But the short version is that a friend distracted the employee on shift while the other guy rolled the alligator under his shirt and walked out of the pet store.

Ouch.

Hey. There’s a whole flock, herd, or conspiracy of baby alligators hanging around in a pond a short walk away from my house. I guess if somebody wanted to stuff one under his shirt, he could.

But why? Leave ’em out there and make ’em find their own food, I say.

And that isn’t the only crazy animal kidnapping this month. Earlier in July, authorities in Norway were stunned to receive reports of a baby oystercatcher boldly stolen from a wild nest near the Norwegian Broadcasting Corporation’s grounds.

Norway News In English followed up on the story in Tromso and got more details, including a pitiful description of the baby oystercatcher flapping its wings as it was thrust heartlessly into a sack and driven off in a vehicle described sketchily as having foreign license plates.

The crime was especially baffling because the oystercatcher was not a rare bird and it has no economic value. But it is a crime to tear it from its nest and drive it across international borders.

Guys. Stop doing stupid crimes. Do you really want to tell your fellow prisoners that you’re in for oystercatcher birdnapping or baby alligator shoplifting?

[baby alligator photo by Ianaré Sévi via Wikimedia]