‘Super Mario Bros.’: Video Game Bad Guy Biology Explained

Video game bad guys can be a real problem, explanation-wise. A lot of them, like from Super Mario Bros., probably wouldn’t exist.

Let’s start with the Goomba. You’re probably asking, “How is it possible for a mushroom to walk on its own?”

The answer is that it can’t. However, it is possible with some help. If you take the fungus from The Last of Us or the virus from Prototype and somehow have it infect a small animal, the growth could encase the entire animal without killing it. The animal would start losing its primary brain functions and walk back and forth aimlessly, attacking anything it deems potential food.

Yes, Goombas could exist if you throw in video game logic from other games. Or give the government time to come up with the right biological weapon.

Another video game bad guy from Super Mario Bros. that might work under the right conditions is the flying turtle, or Paratroopa.

A flying turtle probably wouldn’t ever happen in real life, as nothing about a real turtle demands the ability to fly. Evolution is based on the idea of survival of the fittest, and having a shell in the first place would be counter-productive to actually having wings.

The answer is that it’s probably not a turtle at all. It could be a bird adapted to a harsher climate like acid rain, where a carapace might be necessary for survival. Also, if you take the skeletal structure of dinosaurs in a slightly different direction, our lizard predecessors may have actually been more like the Pterodactyl than the Tyrannosaurus, making a flying turtle more possible, even though it would probably be extinct by now.

Super Mario Bros.‘ Lakitu is a video game bad guy that most likely wouldn’t exist very long, as a cloud capable of carrying a creature of any kind is probably toxic. Also, any creature capable of being held aloft by such a cloud would either be an insect or some kind of jellyfish, either of which would probably die rather quickly of the toxic gas. As for throwing spiny creatures from the cloud, it may be possible that the creature would be dropping its unhatched larva down in order to give them a chance to live, right as they’re born. Otherwise, why would it even happen? It’s not a sound necessity for the survival of the creature.

Here are some monsters which could also exist in The Legend of Zelda, right here on The Inquisitr.

Are there any other video game bad guys in Super Mario Bros. that could be explained under the right circumstances?