7 Weird Things About Barack and Michelle Obama’s Marriage That Had People Concerned

Barack and Michelle Obama's Married Life is More Complex Than It Appears

During their eight years as the first couple, Barack and Michelle Obama set an example of a joyful, loving relationship for Americans and people across the globe. But their love story goes far deeper than that; it began during their time working together at a Chicago legal company, which paved the way for a first date, a family, and a relationship that millions of people adored. Certainly, there are many flaws in their relationship. The former first couple has been open about the flaws in their love connection of 30 years since Barack and Michelle left the White House. So, let's take a look at some of the harder moments they have navigated through as partners.

1. Michelle Had to Give Up Her Goals

Michelle warmly supported Barack throughout his campaign, which resulted in him becoming the first African-American President of the United States in 2008. She continued to support her husband and became a constant presence in politics and the media in the eight years that followed. But before things got good, they were very tough; Barack's presidential ambitions put their marriage to the test—literally—as she revealed to The New York Times in 2009. After they welcomed Malia and Sasha Obama into their family in 1998 and 2001, respectively, things became very hard. Barack was pursuing his political aspirations, pushing his relationship to the breaking point as Michelle attempted to juggle parenting with her own legal career. So, she decided to give her career a backseat, even though her husband never asked her to quit, but it was quite difficult for the former FLOTUS.

2. Their Arguments Are Fierce

Michelle disclosed in her book Becoming that as a result of their drastically different communication styles, they really had to learn how to dispute more constructively. She mentioned in her book, "I tend to yell when I'm angry. When something sets me off, the feeling can be intensely physical, a kind of fireball running up my spine and exploding in the moment." Furthermore, Barack was more impacted by the argument, whereas Michelle moved on more easily. In 2020, she said, "I hit hard and fast and then I forget," in an edition of The Michelle Obama Podcast. "I had to learn that he feels things much more deeply for over a longer period of time."

3. When Michelle Thought Barack Was the 'Problem'

Michelle said in the Netflix documentary Becoming, while in conversation with Gayle King, that she first believed therapy would 'fix' the former President. As per People, she confessed, "Counseling helped me to look at, 'How do I take control of my own happiness within our marriage?' But it's hard, it's hard. It is hard blending two lives together. And in my view, I took Barack to marital counseling so that they would fix him. And then he started looking over at me. I was like, 'Why are you talking to me?' I am perfect. He is the problem."

4. The Marriage Proposal Was a Disaster

Michelle wrote in her book Becoming about how the pair (when still dating) tackled the problem of marriage 'with hot gusto' during dinner at their favorite Chicago restaurant on July 31, 1991. As reported by Today, she attempted to maintain composure in the midst of the posh restaurantgoers as the couple's back-and-forth about the benefits of marriage continued. She clarified, "We were quarreling, and doing it attorney-style. We punched and counterpunched, dissected and cross-examined, though it was clearly I who was more inflamed. It was I who was doing most of the talking." Once the pair completed their main course, however, the discussion went in a drastically unexpected direction. Barack then got down on one knee and proposed!

5. The White House Significantly Strained Their Marriage

In an interview with People published in 2020, the ex-president recognized the challenges Michelle faced when the spotlight was focused on her. He said, "The pressure, stress, of needing to get everything right, to be 'on' at every moment. There were times where I think she was frustrated or sad or angry but knew that I had Afghanistan or the financial crisis to worry about, so she would tamp it down." His marriage was severely tested throughout his eight years as President and his family's time in the nation's capital. 

6. For the First Ten Years of Their Marriage, Michelle Couldn’t Stand Barack

On Revolt, Michelle came clean about the fact that she and Barack had an unhappy marriage for ten years. She confessed, "It happened when those kids were little." Michelle claimed that she felt bitter when she had little children since she had to shoulder a lot of the responsibility for parenting while Barack could go golfing or do something else. On an edition of The Michelle Obama Podcast, Michelle also discussed this issue, saying that having children changes everything in a marriage. She continued by saying that it's already unfair that women have to give more than men when they give birth.

7. Restoring Their Marriage Required Effort

Young couples, in Michelle's opinion, can be too hasty to end their relationships, as she said on Revolt TV: "We don't talk about how much work is required and how hard it is, even when you are madly in love with the person." In 2020, she reiterated the point in an episode of The Michelle Obama Podcast, pointing out that many individuals quit too soon due to the mistaken belief that arguments indicate a dysfunctional or toxic relationship. In 2020, Barack also told People, "It was like a big exhalation right after we left office." After his two terms ended, Michelle was able to return to her happier, less stressed self.