Russell Brand Has A Kardashians Group Sex Fantasy, Barf

Alright, pop culture, everyone out of the pool — Russell Brand wants a Kardashians “foursome,” and there is just not enough My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanart on the internet to erase that horrific mental image. I think we’re all done here, internet gossip blogosphere. Time to pack up, move to Oklahoma, and just live at my Aunt’s house.

Hey. If we have to know about Russell Brand’s Kardashian’s orgy desires, you do too. We can’t handle this knowledge alone.

The topic came up when Khloe, Kim, and Kourtney sat in for host Chelsea Handler on Chelsea Lately. The sisters hosted Brand on the show, and things rapidly went to TMI town. (As an aside, nothing wrong with getting your rocks off — just the idea of a Russell Brand Kardashians sex party is a bit… ugh.)

Brand came out with the following admission as he sat down with the trio:

“I’m vulnerable to the concept of a KKK threesome.”

Khloe quite horrifyingly in turn then said to sis Kim, who we all know is expecting a baby with rapper Kanye West:

“Well, I heard pregnant [expletive] is the best [expletive].”

Yes. Khloe Kardashian said that to her own sister. And then it ended there and we got no more intrusive mental images.

Just kidding! Not content to throw the incestuous Kardashian orgy idea out there, Brand had to kink it up a little bit:

“I think pregnant women are radiant and beautiful and the idea of lactation is an interesting one.”

And that was all. No, not really! Russell added that the product of such an unholy coupling would be a “limitless, foaming river of milk and orgasm.”

Now is the time for us all to pray to whichever God we believe in that no enterprising producer will offer such a moneymaking opportunity for any Russell Brand Kardashian foursome “sex tapes.”