How Actress Melissa McCarthy Once Reminded Me Of Who Truly Leads This Life

Actress Melissa McCarthy has been one of my favorite people in this world for quite some time, and she doesn’t even know it.

Of course, I suppose that makes sense on levels that are both obvious and hidden. For starters, it’s not like I actually know the Academy Award-nominated comedienne personally or even professionally. She’s a major movie star and I, although bright in my own light, am just a person writing about how thankful I am that this particular movie star exists, or better yet, that she exists as someone that others, including myself, are inspired by for a multitude of inspirational reasons.

But perhaps I’m overextending my thoughts a bit. To simplify things, I suppose I would have to say the following: it’s not so much of who she is as a worldwide entertainer, but what she was scripted to say in one of her iconic roles to date — and no, I’m not referring to her recent Saturday Night Live spin, which was reported on here at the Inquisitr, that’s getting a lot of deserved attention and praise on this Super Bowl Sunday. That just happened and although absolutely hysterical, there was nothing she said as she took White House press secretary Sean Spicer to task that really fits why I’m currently expressing all of this (other than the fact that McCarthy’s name is currently on the tip of everyone’s tongues because of the sketch).

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In fact, I’m actually referring to her role in the 2003 laugh fest Bridesmaids, which incidentally starred and was scripted by an SNL alum, Kristin Wiig — but I’m sure most folks already knew that. What you don’t know is that there is one line in that movie that immediately switches my mood from one of hilarity to one of pensiveness.

During a scene where her bold and brash character Megan converses with a despondent Annie (played by Wiig), McCarthy drops a quote that to this day, despite literally coming right after a scene that has her hilariously making Annie “fight” herself, still makes my eyes misty not from laughing, but from being wholly moved.

“Now, you’re going to stop feeling sorry for yourself,” she says in all seriousness.

“Because I do not associate with people who blame the world for their problems, because you’re your problem, Annie, and you’re also your solution.”

For many years, I, like Annie, seemed to hold a grudge toward everything and anything that had ever made the mistake of crossing me through some sort of deception or another form of discord, and it was usually tied in some shape or form to my homosexuality. Whether it was a deceitful boyfriend, a friend who couldn’t accept who I was or even worse, a family member who judged me over what I couldn’t change, I held onto all of that negativity and allowed it to change me into someone who was just as mean spirited and evil as they all were to me.

By my mid-20’s, all of that hurt managed to form itself into a shield that “protected” me from ever feeling anything, positive or otherwise, that this world had to offer. Even worse, I was extremely proud of being able to take that pain and turn it into the most vicious and cruel attitude that I could exude, but even then, I knew that’s who I really wasn’t. In all truth, I was still that hurt little kid who had been called every gay slur that you could imagine by bullies, so-called associates and at one time, even my own mother.

To this day, I couldn’t tell you just when all of that changed, but I do remember that at some point, I just got tired of letting others dictate who I was meant to be and who I was going to be. I was so sick of giving them so much power and strength over my life to the point that eventually, I dropped nearly every single person who I had associated with since I was a preteen. Was it a drastic move? Absolutely, but the change that occurred shortly thereafter was drastic, too, in the best way.

I started to stand up for myself more, I began to make new friends, and I even decided to finally take the one thing that everyone said was a pipe dream — my love of writing — a lot more seriously. It took some time, and it wasn’t easy in the slightest, but I eventually figured out just what the issue had been all along: it was me.

I had allowed others to mold me in a way that worked for them, and it was up to me to take the proverbial clay that makes up all of our lives and sculpt it into something that was much more beneficial to my mind, body and spirit, not for their sake, but for my very own.

I was the problem, but I was also the solution.

By the time I came across Melissa’s scene in Bridesmaids years later, it had been quite some time since I had turned myself around and started a different path in life, but hearing her say it in that moment reminded me of the scared kid who at one time, just wanted everyone to like him for who he was. Whoever would’ve thought that the only person who really needed to like me, was me?

Thank you for reminding me and others of this, Melissa McCarthy. May you continue to shine not just in the world of celebrity, but your own personal world as well.

[Featured Image by Kevin Winter/Getty Images]