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Liam Neeson As Santa Claus Will Haunt Your Dreams [Video]

By Patricia Ramirez
Published on: 17:15 PST, Dec 19, 2016

If there’s one thing Liam Neeson doesn’t do well, it’s “jolly;” that’s why his audition for the part of Santa Claus is something out of a naughty child’s nightmares. Neeson, who has made a name for himself knocking heads together and otherwise taking names, did his best to channel his inner Santa during a bit for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. The results? We now know that Liam Neeson is the world’s scariest Santa.

As Irish Central reports, the video features Liam Neeson inexplicably auditioning to be a mall Santa Claus. Apparently, Neeson has it out for that reindeer that ran over someone’s eggnog-drunk grandma. And he makes the idea of being “watched over” by a jolly old elf sound like criminal stalking.

(To be fair, Liam Neeson did deal with something similar in the Taken flicks.)

Check out the video of Liam Neeson doing his best Santa impersonation.

At one point in the disturbing “audition,” Neeson tries to pull off a Santa-style smile. It doesn’t go well and comes off as more of a Krampus-esque sneer, something that suggests that a Liam Neeson Santa Claus might be planning on cooking and eating all of the little boys and girls on December 25. Or at least the naughty ones.

“And that reindeer that ran over grandma? I will look for him, I will find him, and I will kill him.”

Most of the time Liam Neeson spends portraying a very off-putting version of Santa is spent narrating one of Christmas’s (and Christmas music’s) most famous verses. The one about little children being seen when they are sleeping? When the real Santa Claus sends the message, it is endearing and echoes with the promise of toys and glad tidings to come. When Liam Neeson promises (or threatens) that he sees you when you’re sleeping, it makes you want to change your locks.

Or maybe develop sincere insomnia.

In a funny twist, the closed captioning of the YouTube video depicting Liam Neeson’s interpretation of a “jolly old elf” has a couple of errors. In one, which repeats over and over throughout the so-called audition, Neeson says that he know’s when you’re awake, while the closed captioning translates his mildly frightening words as being that he knows when you’re “weak.”

Which he almost certainly does. Like Santa, Liam apparently waits for that moment to make his move.

Over the course of his two-minute or so Santa audition, Neeson dons the quintessential red suit and uses the red stocking cap as a threatening Christmas prop as he tells (warns) the camera man (and hopeful children the world over) that he knows what they’re about. Liam is clean shaven throughout the video, which might contribute to his singularly un-huggable appearance and aura. Coupled with his svelte figure, it’s almost as though he’s trying to pull something over on kids.

“I see you… when you are sleeping. I know… when you’re awake.”

Liam Neeson also brought his iconic intensity to the discussion of the “naughty list.” The moment emerges after the cameraman reminds Liam that Santa brings toys to the little girls and boys. Neeson’s response? “Not the naughty ones.” In fact, according to Liam Neeson, Santa Claus using his infamous holiday list as some kind of profiling tool before meting out his judgment on the disobedient.

“I think it’s right. Do you understand what Santa’s saying here? He’s making a list – naughty, nice. He’s detailed. He’s single-minded. He’s an eye in the sky bringing swift judgement.”

This isn’t the first time that Liam Neeson, famous for taking on leading roles in movies such as The Grey, Taken, Unknown, and even Schindler’s List, has shown the world that he’s more than a one-trick pony. Back in 2011, he showed off his comedy mettle when appearing on Life’s Too Short alongside Ricky Gervais. Fortunately for Neeson, he was able to make his appearance “a comedy darkly.”

While Liam Neeson as a profoundly bad Santa Claus (even worse than Billy Bob Thornton in the film Bad Santa, because Neeson gives off a threatening vibe rather than simply being a degenerate drunk), it’s likely he’ll be better known for something else entirely this holiday season.

Neeson has two new movies coming to the silver screen, but Silence is the film getting the most press this December. According to those in the know, it may be destined for an Oscar nod. Based on the 1966 novel by Shusaku Endo, it’s the tale of forbidden Christianity in 17th century Japan.

Coming out just days before Christmas on December 23, the flick is surely a better channel for the inner demons of Liam Neeson than a role as Santa Claus.

[Featured Image by Sam McNeil/AP Images]

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