2012 Olympics Had Too Much Sex, Satanic Influence


Duluth, MN – One upset couple didn’t take too kindly to the 2012 Olympics and decided to pen a letter to the editor of their local newspaper to explain exactly why. According to the letter, it was simply impossible to enjoy the London Games what with all of the sex and Satanic influence overshadowing the competitions.

“We’ve enjoyed past Olympic openings and closings, and some of the sports,” the letter begins diplomatically. “But the quality of the past two or three Olympics has been a great disappointment.”

Dennis P. and Rosemary Mitchell submitted the letter to the Duluth News Tribune in which they criticize London game-makers of celebrating pedophiles in the opening ceremony and “glorfying Satan” throughout the two-week run of the Olympic games. According to MSN Now, the letter pretty much proves that the couple “haven’t watched television since 1950” and wish that they could have enjoyed the Olympics “as much as we liked your crazypants letter.”

What else did the Mitchell’s take umbrage at? Take your pick. The couple specifically took offense to the “sexualized” uniforms, swimsuits, and leotards worn by the competitors. In the letter, they chastise male swimmers for “hip-huggers trunks stopping just above their pubic region,” women’s volleyball and track for their “underwear-bikinis,” and the “scanty clothes and revealing cleavage on women” of the performers in the opening and closing ceremonies.

“The black and red colors of sex and violence dominated most of the closing. The nuns were obviously there to mock Christianity while one could only think of Satan being glorified,” the letter said.

The offended couple also nostalgically yearned for the Olympics of yesteryear, which offered “spectacular bright, cheerful and family-style entertainment” and made sweeping social commentary on the matter, saying that the sexed-up styles of the Olympic Games “are also now worn in our schools and colleges, which no one seems to have objected to.”

Funny, I haven’t seen any teenagers clamoring onto buses in Gabby Douglas-inspired pink leotards. College is another story, though. That wouldn’t surprise me.

Head on over to the Duluth News Tribune (linked above) for the full letter. Come back here and tell us what you think. Was there too much sex and Satan in the 2012 Olympic Games?

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