Connecticut Man Calls 911 For Subpar Sandwich

The phenomenon of individuals using the 911 service provided to all Americans for inappropriate reasons seems to happen frequently enough to keep us internet news providers covering it a few times each year, but it seems we’ve got to go over this again, America.

Okay. Please don’t call 911 if you get fewer McNuggets than promised. Don’t call 911 if your burger is cold. And for the love of Pete, please do not call 911 if you receive a sandwich that does not meet your lofty expectations.

I know a lot of people are experiencing a lowered standard of living right now compared to a few years back. Yes, there is less wealth and more debt and fewer jobs and less eating out. Life sucks, and sometimes, you’re gonna get a substandard sandwich. Like every time you go to Quizno’s, specialists in toasted vomit flavored subs.

It sucks. No one wants to eat a sandwich on stale bread, with wrong condiments, slimy cold cuts, wilted lettuce, underripe tomatoes or bad cheese. But everyone gets a bad sandwich from time to time, and unfortunately for us sandwich-eaters, sometimes your sandwich is one of the sucky ones.

Grateful Deli patron Rother McLennon was on the receiving end of a few disappointing sandwiches Wednesday, and called 911 to report his dissatisfaction with the product he received. As the bewildered dispatcher tried to figure out whether someone had been mortally wounded by one of the sucky sandwiches, McLennon explained without irony that no, he just wasn’t that into the sandwich.

Local news excerpts the conversation:

“You’re calling 911 because you don’t like way that they’re making your sandwich?” the dispatcher asks.

McLennon contends:

“I mean, I just want to solve this the right way,” he said. “Her sister made it, but she left. They are playing games with me, so I was just wondering if you could come by,” he said. “I just want it resolved and I want to be able to come back here and get the regular sandwich that I ask for.”

The deli’s owner counters that McLennon ordered 14 sandwiches but then did not want to pay for them. The disgruntled sandwich eater called the deli the following day to apologize, and said he intends to continue purchasing their sandwiches.

No word on whether or not McLennon actually ate the sandwich.