North Korean Officials Threaten South Korea News Agencies, Provide Hysterical Launch Coordinates

Poor North Korea, first they get caught buying a $15 website template to build their national web presence and now they have made attack threats against South Korea that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

The threats arrived on Monday after the countries officials became angered when South Korean media portrayed North Korea’s Children’s Day celebrations to the same type of propaganda used by the Nazi youth to lure in future soldiers and supporters of communism.

After discovering the South Korean news coverage the North Korean government threatened to blow up South Korean newspapers and TV stations, something they have promised in the past. This time however the North Korean officials gave longitude and latitude coordinates for those targets.

There was just one problem, the coordinates given were either wrong or impossible in every single case. Just to ensure the coordinates were not translated properly they were examined in Korean and English.

For example one newspaper building was listed at “37 degrees 56 minutes 83 seconds North Latitude and 126 degrees 97 minutes 65 seconds East Longitude.” The last time we checked there was only 60 seconds in a minute and 60 minutes in an hour.

If those coordinates were actually entered in a missiles guidance system by rounding the seconds, minutes and hours to their proper equivalents North Korean officials would be targeting the Gangwon Province which is a fair distances east of their Seoul target.

North Korea did come close with one set of coordinates, however they would have blown up a building across the street from their actual target.

The communist country is no stranger to flowery rhetoric meant to energize its uneducated and clueless supporer base. Honestly they could have said the coordinates were “five mooses, three giraffes and five porcupines latitude” and their followers would have been none the wiser.

Here is some amateur footage of a children’s day celebration:

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