Rihanna Attacked by Vampire Lizard and Crazed Rooster

Rihanna was out and about in New York on Friday, shopping at the Intermix boutique in SoHo and photographic evidence suggests that the the pop superstar was attacked by some type of vampire lizard and a crazed rooster.

As seen in the photo above, Rhianna had a black rooster on her head, flawless makeup, bright red lipstick and the look was topped off with a pair of expensive shades that probably cost her more than I make in a month, even though I saw the same pair on the rack on a gas station counter last week for $9.99.

In the photo below, you can see what appears to be either a vampire lizard or baby crocodile on her neck. It’s head is hidden behind her collar so it’s safe to assume the lizard is latched onto her jugular and she simply couldn’t shake it off before she went shopping.

P.S. If any fashion blogs are interested in hiring a writer, I’m available on a part-time basis, but I ain’t cheap.