Stephen Colbert Mocks Antonin Scalia For Gay Marriage Dissent [Video]
Stephen Colbert won’t have a show again until September, but he came out of hiding to celebrate the Supreme Court’s decision on gay marriage and mock the Antonin Scalia’s dissent.
The SCOTUS decision lit up the internet and the White House, and even convinced Colbert to make a YouTube video while his new CBS show is in pre-production. It wasn’t the classic conservative-blowhard personality fans of The Colbert Report are used to it. After all, he didn’t accuse any homosexuals of trying to make him gay or refer to any agendas. Instead, he seemed happy for the decision.
As Stephen Colbert explained, “So if you’re a homosexual and living in North Dakota, all of your problems are solved. Enjoy Dakota Pride Week!”
Stephen went on to explain how amazing the decision was.
“History moves fast. It’s hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full Constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did.”
According to Deadline, Colbert still acknowledged that there were some big losers in the decision.
“My condolences to gays with commitment issues or asking their partner ‘if we can just please talk about this when I get home from work today.’ Also unhappy, four of the five Supreme Court justices. I’ll let you guess which ones. Here’s a hint,” Stephen said before doing his best Antonin Scalia and company impression.
Stephen Colbert started by skewering Justice Roberts’ opinion but quickly got to Antonin Scalia, who explained that if he ever joined an opinion like Justice Kennedy’s majority decision, he would hide his head in a bag.
The future Late Night host quipped, “I could have sworn he was already hiding his head in a flesh-toned cinch sack.”
Colbert quickly added, “Please come on my show, sir.”
The decision on Friday was five to four, with Antonin Scalia and the other three conservative judges overruled. As with many Supreme Court decisions, it came down to Justice Kennedy, who sided with the liberal side of the court.
What opinion was so embarrassing that Scalia would put his head in a bag if he were involved?
The Washington Post gave a snippet of the most emotionally compelling part.
“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage.
“Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”
Perhaps it was a little too dramatic for Antonin Scalia’s taste. Maybe he’ll come on Stephen Colbert’s new show to explain.
Stephen Colbert’s Late Night on CBS will premiere on September 8th.
[Image Credit: Getty Images]
