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Justin Bieber Gets His Own Comedy Central Roast: Five Items That Must Make The Cut

By Page Mackinley
Published on: 03:33 PST, Jan 20, 2015

That sound? Collective anticipation.

Justin Bieber will be roasted by some of the funniest comedians (we hope) for a Comedy Central special that tapes on March 7 for national television, six days after the superstar’s 21st birthday.

The singer has proved he can laugh at himself, as his hilarious turn with Zach Galifianakis and recent tweet to SNL’s account on the social microblogging site revealed. But can he take a roasting by multiple comics and actually be there?

Bieber was recently skewered on Saturday Night Live when Kate McKinnon and Cecily Strong ripped the singer’s Calvin Klein ad campaign with Lara Stone, into big wiener-size pieces.

But even while the parody was still airing, Justin tweeted, “well played. Lol” to SNL.

A tongue-in-cheek Kent Alterman (president of programming for Comedy Central), notes, “Justin has been asking us for years to roast him, and we just kept telling him to go create more source material first. We’re thrilled he listened.”

Other celebrities to have previously been roasted by Comedy Central include the late Joan Rivers, Charlie Sheen, Donald Trump, Hugh Hefner, Bob Saget, Pamela Anderson, Denis Leary, William Shatner, David Hasselhoff, James Franco, Roseanne Barr and more.

Firstly: So. Much. Content.

Next, join us, as we highlight five, comedy gold highlights from the Biebs’ wild a** romp through 2013-2014, to date. We’re not including the singer’s recent Calvin Klein ads. But, no doubt they, and alleged Bulge-Gate will make the cut.

1: The oft-shirtless one’s visits to historical sites has for some reason, always led to face palm scenarios

These have (mostly) not been Bieber’s fault. Rather, his tourists mishaps can be put down to a lack of formal education that should have attended to by those looking out for him.

Who can forget the Canadian’s April 2013 stop at the Anne Frank museum in Amsterdam, during which he wrote in a guest book that he hoped the famed Frank would have “been a Belieber”?

In the singer’s defence, he had just been told by the museum guide (who backed that up), that Frank was a lover of pop culture, so it was a natural (though naive) misstep to make. In fact, Frank’s sister-in-law, the museum and Anti Defamation League (ADL), supported that view.

Bieber’s lift up the Great Wall of China from two bodyguards brought the tutting from the intelligentsia, but seems relatively harmless in retrospect.

Justin Bieber
(Photo: Justin Bieber and his crew at the Great Wall of China in October 2013)

As was Justin’s unwitting, visit to the beautiful but blood-soaked, Yasukuni War Shrine, in Tokyo in April 2014.

The shrine houses 14 Class-A convicted war criminals who committed atrocities in World War II among its 2.5 million, honored war-dead.

According to the singer, he “was [misled to think the Shrines were only a place of prayer.”

In the end, he apologized to China, South Korea and Japan. So, just a few billion.

2: P*****g in a mop bucket, because of course

In July 2013, TMZ-obtained video surfaced of the Biebs inexplicably relieving himself into a janitor’s mop bucket in a New York restaurant, while his then “Wild Boyz” posse — Lil Za and Lil Twist — cackled and generally sounded like morons in the background.

Sometime on that fateful night, a probably drunk Bieber sprayed cleaning fluid onto a wall photo of ex-president, Bill Clinton, while screaming “F**k Bill Clinton.”

In short, it was a frat night for anyone else. For Bieber, it became an major incident that he went to apologize for in a personal call to the president. The whole thing was never really adequately explained. Perhaps Comedy Central’s roast will have the answers?

And, no, we’re not posting the video.

3: Bieber’s Central and South American leg of his Believe World Tour

The stuff of legend. The then 19-year-old swept through the Americas wreaking havoc in his wake amid alleged stories of sampling the dubious pleasures of “Ladies of the Night” and strip clubs around the world.

Bieber was eventually charged with criminal vandalism after spray-painting a disused wall of a private hotel in Brazil. The singer was also spotted leaving a brothel in Rio De Janeiro under as a sheet and flanked by incompetent guards, who let the singer’s tattoo show.

A source from the singer’s camp later said the group visited the establishment, but did not know what the venue was used for.

Bieber also left one show in Rio a couple of songs before the official end, after his mic was knocked out of his hand by a flying water bottle.

In Argentina, the singer was accused of defiling the country’s national flags after two flags onto the stage during one of his shows, and Bieber then used his feet and base of the mic stand to remove the flags.

The singer explained that he hadn’t realized the materials were flags but thought that they were shirts. He also apologized on Twitter.

The incident-prone one also turned up sleeping in a non-consensually-filmed video shot by adult escort, Tati Neves, after what may have been sex between the two.

Bieber’s camp denied that, and it remains one of the great, unanswered questions of our time.

4: The minutes before one of the worst-laid plans ever: The house-egging

It caused strife to the family whose house was egged, although over $80,000 seems a little over-egged.

The egging of Bieber’s former neighbor’s Calabsas, California mansion also resulted in the Biebs getting plastered all over the news after a police raid five days later.

He eventually getting slapped with two-years probation and a stack of other terms to fulfill his plea deal after pleading no contest to misdemeanor vandalism.

It should be noted Bieber has now reportedly stopped using weed and has sought pastoral guidance since last year.

5: Bieber’s downtime clothes

There are so many contenders for this last spot. Bieber’s deposition and Orlando Bloom’s hit-and-miss in Ibiza were frontrunners.

But we’re going with the Bieber’s downtime clothes, not the stylish, fresh threads he wears to events or on stage.

Once described by a comedian as dressing in the style of a “blind magician,” Biebs’ homie dress-sense is a source of endless opportunity for laughs.

Justin Bieber
(Photo: Behold, Bieber’s pants are amazing!)

Unlike some, we don’t think Bieber’s tattoos or music qualifies him as a joke, and you may not either after listening to this.

So, yes, the Central Comedy Roast is likely timed not just to coincide with Bieber’s 21st, but also possibly the drop of his anticipated first single from his in-progress new album.

But, perhaps it’s also time this young man was given some props for still standing after the media battering he is still receiving, after what may have been a serious breakdown back in 2013, and has almost single-handedly provided the news cycle with entertainment with — some — of his exploits.

That’s our list. If you have other choices, let us know in comments below. The network has yet to announce when the program will air, or who the roasters will be.

But, for now, the only thing left to say is, bring on the Bieber roast.

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