Sony Officially Out Of Ideas, Working On ‘Aunt May’ Movie With No Spider-Man

Somebody better call Child Protective Services; Sony is already over there doing awful things to Marvel’s Spider-Man baby, and the latest rumor of an Aunt May movie makes it look like things are only going to get worse.

The new report comes courtesy of Latino-Review, and it’s a doozy. They’re saying that Sony, in an attempt to capitalize on every possible angle in the Spider-Man “franchise,” is actually, truly, we’re-quite-far-from-April-Fool’s-Day considering putting out a movie based on a little-known 2003 Marvel mini-series called Trouble.

That series, penned by word criminal Mark Millar, aimed to retell the origin of Spider-Man by way of teenage versions of Aunt May, Uncle Ben and Peter Parker’s parents, Richard and Mary Parker. There was – ugh – a convoluted series of events wherein Richard is still Peter’s real father but it turns out that May is Peter’s mother and ugh!

There was also some nonsense about spies. This is a thing that happened. No charges were filed.

In any case, it appears that Sony truly doesn’t know what to do with the Spider-Man franchise after Amazing Spider-Man 2 failed to live up to the entertainment giant’s expectations. Sony was said to be working on a Sinister Six movie, one that would feature such renowned Spider-Man villains as the Rhino, the Vulture, Three Guys You’ve Never Heard Of, and Probably Venom.

The underwhelming response to Sony’s attempt to hype the Sinister Six – hints at their costumes showed up in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 – seems to have sent Sony scrambling. There were rumors that the role of Spider-Man would be recast for the third Spider-Man movie. There were rumors that the Sinister Six movie was being scrapped for a Venom-Carnage movie. Someone said that Sony was planning an all-female Spider-Man spinoff flick. There was talk that the third Spider-Man movie would feature an extended dance number. Oh, no, wait, Sony already did that.

That is a thing that happened in the same world that you live in. There is nothing you can do about it.

In truth, there are arguably only a few bankable characters within the Spider-Man “Universe,” those being Spider-Man and Venom. There are many other personalities in Spider-Man’s orbit in the Marvel comics, but most of those are either animal-based characters no one has heard of or spider-based characters that aren’t different enough from Spider-Man to stand out.

That lack of characters to build a “universe” on means that Sony doesn’t have nearly the leeway that Fox has with its stranglehold on Marvel’s X-Men franchise. Even the Fantastic Four franchise – also locked in Fox’s deathgrip – has more distinguishable characters that could be turned into potential spinoffs. With Spider-Man, it’s basically Spider-Man and Venom. And Venom is basically Freakshow Spider-Man with a T-1000-esque Costume.

Thus, Sony casts about looking for anything that might form the basis for something other than Amazing Spider-Man 3. Despite the rumors of a possible collaboration with Marvel, Sony desperately does not want to give back those Spider-Man licensing rights, so the company is exploring every potential avenue. That means it’s entirely possible that we’ll see an Aunt May espionage prequel, Spider-Gwen, Silk, Glass Ceiling, Venom-Carnage, and the Sinister Six. Or at least some combination of all of those. Or maybe Child Protective Services will clear their backlog and take Spider-Man into protective custody.

[Photo credit: IGN.com]