‘Creature 3D’: Bollywood Finally Releases Its Own Totally Campy Monster Film
On September 12, 2014, Bollywood did something truly amazing. It released its own absurdly comical and totally hilarious monster horror film — one so utterly campy that Hindustan Times critic Rohit Vats referred to its screenplay (or script) as the real monster!
The film, Creature 3D, stars veteran Bollywood actress Bipasha Basu as Ahana, a depressed hotel owner who travels to the mountains of Himachal to open up a new resort after her father commits suicide. Sounds like the perfect setup for a deep and emotionally invigorating drama, right?
Oh, but wait, the mountains happen to contain a Brahm Rakshas, which Hindustan Times critic Anupama Chopra describes as “a cross between a lizard and a dinosaur, with a splash of Davy Jones from ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ thrown in.” Apparently, the Brahm Rakshas (also known as brahmarakshas, also known as brahma-rakshasas and also known as “what the heck is that!?”) are fierce Hindu demon spirits “cursed by Lord Brahma himself, which are freed into this planet of ours because a schmuck cleared their way in,” or so says India Express columnist Shubhra Gupta.
Not surprisingly, the crazy creature starts gobbling up Ahana’s poor innocent guests. That’s not going to be good for business, right? The one guest who manages to evade being devoured is, of course, pretty-boy Kunal (played by Imran Abbas), who follows Ahana around like a puppy and sings her extraordinary corny songs pertaining to love, longing, and all that quite useless crap. According to Rohit Vats, Kunal’s only other talent is life is the uncanny ability to drive an open jeep. AMAZING!
Regardless, the creature’s penchant for dining on hotel guests causes Ahana’s bank to freak out and pull money out of the hotel. Oh, no! What is she to do? Have no fear, because the depressed heroine Ahana stands up tall and asserts that she will somehow, and rather miraculously, defeat this murderous creature within the span of exactly 10 days. Wow! And of the bankers, she says, “They are vultures, but I’m not a dead body yet!” You get ’em, girl!
So, will she win? And will you get your money back after you finish watching this mind-blowingly campy monster film? Unfortunately, ladies and gents, to find out, you’ll need to go watch the film yourself in your closest Hindu movie theater. Either that or download it off the Net once the bootleg arrive. In the meantime, be sure to check out Creature 3D’s theatrical trailer below:
[Image via Google Images]
