Aquaman Sucks! Jason Momoa Cast In ‘Batman Vs. Superman,’ As Everybody’s Least Favorite Justice League Superhero
Aquaman sucks, even if he is going to make a splash in the Batman Vs. Superman movie, and somebody should seriously let Jason Momoa know. Rumors that Momoa would play Aquaman in either the Batman vs. Superman movie, the Justice League movie, or one of the other spate of Justice League related movies on the docket are nothing new (in case you missed it, DCU fans, check out this related report in The Inquisitr that reveals some pretty exciting release dates for upcoming DCU films), but Batman News – which normally gets these things right – claims that Jason Momoa is definitely in as Aquaman, at least for the Batman vs. Superman movie (as if he’ll ever ditch the Aquaman role once he’s stuck with it).
Jason Momoa already plays one of the lamer characters on the wildly popular Game of Thrones and has had some real box office flops on the big screen, most notably his attempt to out-Schwarzenegger the one and only Arnold in the reboot of Conan the Barbarian (can you say epic fail?). So, if he can’t make Conan cool, how in the world does anyone expect him to do it with Aquaman in the Justice League movies? As every superhero fan that has ever lived will tell you — usually along with a memory of when he and his friends played superheroes and he got scarred for life by having to portray the waterlogged hero — Aquaman sucks.
On the off chance that one of Aquaman’s fans (either of you) read this and doubt that Aquaman sucks, here it is, from the mouths of TV’s greatest and smartest DCU fanboys:
Did you catch that? If you didn’t watch until the end, go back and try again. Raj makes it clear: cross dressing as Wonder Woman would be better than playing Aquaman. Unfortunately for Jason Momoa, that role is already sewn up by Gal Gadot, so there’s little chance he’ll be able to be in the Batman vs. Superman or Justice League movies as Wonder Woman (who is going to get her own long overdue big screen treatment).
Jason Momoa, here’s fair warning (though it’s probably already too late, contracts and all being what they are): If they get you to play Aquaman once, you will be Aquaman forever. If you play Aquaman in Batman vs. Superman, you’ll end up being Aquaman in Justice League. Heck, they’ll probably find a way to wedge in an Aquaman scene in the Green Lantern/The Flash mashup — and Jason Momoa, you will get stuck playing Aquaman in that, too. Every kid who has ever played superheroes in the back yard knows that. That’s why we all fought so hard to be someone — anyone — other than Aquaman: because Aquaman sucks!
Piece of advice for Jason Momoa: As bad as it’d be, you’d be better off to ask if you could play Joffrey if you’re really that determined to play a character nobody else wants to be. Joffrey wouldn’t stick with you anything like playing Aquaman will.
There is one bright side for Jason Momoa to focus on, though. While he’ll be stuck playing the lamest superhero ever in Batman vs. Superman, Justice League, and other DCU movies, you’ll never need to worry about playing the role in an Aquaman movie… there won’t be one because, as everyone knows, Aquaman sucks.
[Image via Shutterstock]
