Crotchless Pantied Perv Gets Caught Burglarizing Sex Store, Fights Back With Sex Toys

Perverts come in many shapes, sizes and dress styles. The pervert who tried to burglarize a sex store in Brisbane, Australia — well, he came in crotchless panties and a smoking hot (though also equally disturbing) wig.

According to the Brisbane Times, the rather odd 34-year-old fellow somehow found his way into the shop via the ceiling. This set off the burglar alarm, which in turn prompted the store’s female manager to confront the charmingly dressed loon.

How did he react? How else! He grabbed a bunch of sex toys and began hurling them at her like shurikens (Master Splinter would be proud!).

He then tried to escape by rushing back into the ceiling of the sex store. Unfortunately, the cops were waiting for him. The man, who apparently lives in the Murumba Downs suburb of Brisbane, was immediately arrested and charged with not only breaking and entering, but also with possession of illegal drugs. Why are we not surprised by the latter fact?

Crazy story, right? Well, it’s not the first! Just a few days ago, in fact, a guy from Cairns (which is about 1700 miles northwest of Brisbane) fell through the roof of a sex shop while trying to rob it, reports the Australian Broadcasting Corporation. What the heck is it with pervs and roofs!?

Here’s exactly what happened: The 22-year-old nut job entered the store (after first perusing a pole dancing academy, mind you), grabbed a ‘Fantasy Fetish’ sex toy pack, fled through the back door, climbed onto the roof and then fell right back into the store. He now faces theft and burglary charges.

If you think such wildly inappropriate activities are limited to Australia, then you’ve got another thing coming! For instance, it was only three months ago that a 31-year-old guy in Washington got caught literally wheeling a shopping cart full of stolen sex toys from the Lacey’s Lovers sex toy store in Olympia!

And let’s not forget good old Jose Angel Perales, 24, who entered an Iowa sex store in the middle of the night, waltzed into the manager’s office, undressed his bulbous 325-pound body and proceeded to pleasure himself on the manager’s futon (there ain’t enough sanitizer spray in the world to clean THAT mess!). He eventually left two hours later wearing a dress and blond wig that belonged to the store. What a sight that must have been!

What a world, right? Regardless, here’s a tip: If you’re going to burglarize a sex toy store (which we don’t recommend you do, by the way), make sure you have something that we in the business like to call common sense! Here’s another hint: The camera is watching you, stupid!

Image via [Google Images]