Google Search History Reveals America’s Dark Secrets

You can tell a lot about a person from their Google search history, but when the search history of an entire country is revealed, it makes for a very interesting and disturbing read.

In an information age governed by search engines, Google is god. Google is not a particularly judgmental god, and as such, people feel pretty free to tap into the almighty search engine whatever takes their fancy.

Just like a criminal will nearly always leave behind a trace of forensic evidence at a crime scene, internet users always leave a behind a Google search history, which may or may not reveal more about them than they’d care for other people to know.

Yet when you look into a country, more specifically, a state’s Google search history, then you’re opening up a whole new can of worms.

Seattle-based real estate website Estately must like worms, because they’ve recently waded their way through Google Trends to discover precisely what words and phrases people in each state search for the most and have published the results.

For example, would you want to buy a house in a state where the most popular Google search terms are: Sniffing Glue, George Michael, Darwinism, Bail Money, Hangover Remedy and Marrying Cousin? Well, then don’t move to New York because, judging by Google search results, it appears the party never ends in the Empire State.

You may also want to give Oregon a wide berth where Allah, Sex, and Spork are the Google search terms of choice.

Washington appears a tad confused with Circumcision, Dungeons and Dragons, Unicorn Tattoo, and Judas Priest high on the agenda of the Evergreen state when it comes to Google search.

And down Texas way they seem an inquisitive and slightly superstitious bunch with, Are Dinosaurs Real? Are Zombies Real? Can dogs talk? Government Mind Control, Does Beer Make You Fat? How To cook Meth? And last but not least, How To Sell Your Soul To the Devil? Topping the Google search history results. Not surprisingly, Purple Drank is also a hot Google search term in the Lone Star State.

And if you’re thinking of moving to Tennessee and are not a fan of the King of rock & roll, it’s probably best to stay put, because Elvis Presley is the most popular Google search term in the Volunteer state by a country mile.

In Mississippi, Dog Fighting, Making Crack and Twerking are all popular Google search trends and apparently a lot of Google users in the Magnolia state believe Tupac Is Alive. Worringly a huge number of Google users in Mississippi have also asked the question, What Is Instagram?

In Michigan, their Google search history reveals they may spend a lot of time telling one another Knock-Knock Jokes and eating at Taco Bell, but they appear to be forever asking the question, Where Do Babies Come From? In the state where the Great Lakes lie.

In Maryland they want to know What Is Twitter? and David Hasselhoff seems hugely popular. Have Googles users taken a step too far in the Old Line state one wonders.

In Maine they love Cat Pics, but according to Google trends, users in the Pine Tree state are also very interested in Growing Marijuana and How To Roll A Joint?

In California it’s no surprise that Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are hot Google topics, but so to are Alcoholics Anonymous, Bros Before Hos, and Dandruff Cure. In the Golden state they also want to know, What Does Sire Look Like?

Florida’s Google search history is just plain weird with Alligator Wrestling, Hulk Hogan, MDMA, and Swingers high on their agenda. But don’t you dare make fun of anyone in the Sunshine state, because a lot of internet users in Florida have taken to Google and asked What Is Sarcasm?

They sound awfully lonely in Alaska with Adult Friend Finder, Couch Surfing, and Mail Order Bride all hot Google topics in the Last Frontier, but where Bestiality and Sarah Palin fits into this is anybody’s guess.

In Alabama, Google search trends have revealed Obama Is The Antichrist, yet in the Yellowhammer state they also seem to have a soft spot for Jessica Simpson.

Say a prayer for the good people of Delaware because time and tme again Google users in the First state have asked, What Is Delaware? Let’s hope for everybody’s sake someone provides a reasonable answer sometime soon.

Finally, in South Dakota they like to keep it simple with only one Google search trend being thrown up time and time again, and that trend is Nickelback.

So there you have it. A study of America’s Google search history state by state is more revealing than the half-baked waffle you’ll find in any official tourist information centre, and a lot more damning too.

What a state to be in. God help us all!