Motley Crue Ride To Press Conference In Flame-Shooting Hearse, Announce ‘Final Tour’

In typical rockstar fashion, the live stream of Motley Crue’s big press conference didn’t start on time, but fans of the influential 80s rock group surely didn’t mind waiting to see “the biggest announcement of Motley Crue’s career,” based on the site traffic.

That news is a 72-stop North American farewell jaunt for Motley Crue, The Final Tour.

The Motley Crue media circus actually started from the backseat of a souped-up the band members being driven to the big reveal. Tommy Lee is trying to take a selfie and Nikki Sixx lends a hand. Mick Mars is riding shotgun in a black fedora. The camera captures glimpses of Vince Neil over his right shoulder. For nearly five minutes, Motley Crue fans are tagging along for the ride to the kickoff event for the band’s final hurrah.

The members of Motley Crue exited their tricked out hearse-limo to the sounds of their hit song, “Dr. Feelgood” being played by a big, brass band. Scantily-clad beauties throng to the rockers as they pose for pictures on the red carpet.

The next video in the stream starts a few minutes later with a suited gentleman, later revealed to be Joey Vendetta, extolling the virtues of Motley Crue and their shameful exclusion from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame after reaffirming that this will, indeed, be the end.

“This is it folks; it’s over after this. This is the final tour.”

On Motley Crue’s final tour, Alice Cooper will appear as special guest. After Joey was finished, a Motley Crue panel, seated in front of fake tombstones for each of the band members, discussed various aspects of the band. Motley Crue attorney’s described the single best way to ensure that it was the end: a legally-binding contract, officially and mutually agreeing to hang it up, something that’s never been done before in the music industry.

Twenty-five minutes into the event, the panel is dismissed and the godfather of shock rock, Alice Cooper steps up to the podium to talk about his enthusiasm for the upcoming tour with Motley Crue. While Cooper has toured with so many bands in the genere, the two acts have never previously appeared together, an idea on which all parties are clearly keen.

“I can’t imagine why rock and roll has become so anemic,” Cooper said on the state of the art. “It just amazes me that the younger bands don’t want to be Motley Crue.”

“They all want to look the same and be introspective, which I don’t get.”

Thirty-two minutes in and Motley Crue themselves take the stage to talk about the finality of the upcoming tour.

“We started talking about it a few years ago and we don’t wanna be one of those bands that maybe have one guy left in it or somebody’s brother,” singer Vince Neil said. “We want to go out with the four founding members and go out on top and leave a legacy of a band called Motley Crue.”

“For us, we’re really proud of our band,” bassist Nikki Sixx said. “We started this band. No one believed in us. No record company would sign us. None of us graduated high school but we figured out how to form a record company.”

“Since then, we’ve always been very proactive about everything we do, including the end of our career.”

Drummer Tommy Lee expounded on the importance of having “inclusive” ticket prices in order to maintain accessibility and avoid being cost-prohibitive.

“It’s always been important to us. We take a lot of pride in everything, from the production and involving fans in the show,” he said.

“I would say, for myself, we had every intention of doing and accomplishing everything we did,” guitarist mick Mars added. “We did it.”

“We’ve been there, we’ve done that. We love each other like brothers and let’s go out on top.”

In order to avoid to avoid the typical farewell tour racket, Motley Crue are calling this their “final tour,” in order to keep their dignity.

“There’s so many bands out there… they’re ripping you off. And we’re not going to do that,” Sixx said.

What’s your favorite Motley Crue memory?