Farrah Abraham Cries ‘I’m More Special Than Sex Tapes!’

Farrah Abraham, the 22-year-old former “reality” TV star who released a “sex tape” in May of 2013, is now lamenting what she says was all a big mistake.

Abraham told InTouch Magazine that the tape “ruined my life.” Initially, she claimed the tape had been “leaked,” but her performance was quickly revealed to be a professionally produced pornographic video for which she signed a release form and was paid,

Her co-star and sexual partner in the “sex tape” was James Deen, currently the highest-profile male performer in the pornography industry.

“Knowing my sex tape was out there for everyone in the world to see… was overwhelming,” Abraham told the magazine. “I wanted to hide my face and not go out or pick up my phone.”

Last year, Farrah Abraham seemed to embrace the notoriety that came along with the highly explicit video’s release. She appeared at a porn industry trade convention and even gave lap dances at a strip club owned by Vivid Entertainment. Vivid is the porn studio that distributed the Farrah Abraham – James Deen video, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom.

The title of the tape refers to Farrah Abraham’s original claim to fame, her stints on the MTV reality series, 16 And Pregnant and Teen Mom.

At the same time, however, Farrah Abraham criticized fellow, vastly more successful reality star Kim Kardashian, who was also the subject of an allegedly leaked sex tape.

Abraham said of Kardashian last May:

“I don’t agree with everything that she’s done in her life, so I hope to live my life a little bit differently. I only want to be a positive influence.”

Initial reports said that Abraham received a $1 million payment for her porn shoot, but later information showed the true figure was only about one percent of that amount, according to Fox News.

The hardcore video, which features Farrah Abraham engaged in a variety of sexual acts both with Deen and solo, “made it hard to have friends and a private life and to trust family, who I feel use me for money,” she told InTouch. “If I went back in time, I would not have done it. The sex tape ruined my life.”

At the time of the Farrah Abraham “sex tape” release, Abraham — who also appeared on the VH1 “reality” show Couples Therapy — contrived a publicity scheme in which she would appear to be in a real-life romantic relationship with Deen, whose real name is Bryan Sevilla.

But Deen refused to play along:

“I told them, someone is gonna see this and be like, ‘Oh, that’s James Deen,’ and someone’s gonna call me and say, ‘Hey man, what’s up with this chick. And I’m gonna say, ‘We shot a porno and that’s the end of it.’ I’m not going to say I’m dating someone I’m not dating.”

Farrah Abraham now asserts that her appearance on Couples Therapy, for which she also faked having a boyfriend, was important to her realization that appearing in a porno was a mistake, and that her self-esteem can no longer be based on displaying her nude body to the public while in the course of intimate sexual acts

“I’m more special than sex tapes,” Farrah Abraham now says.