Tailgating Banned For Super Bowl XLVIII, Among Other Restrictions

Football fans, put down your tongs and slowly step away from the grill: tailgating has been banned from Super Bowl XLVIII.

No, seriously.

ESPN broke the news to the football world, letting those attending know that tailgating had been banned and listing a host of other restrictions announced for the game by host committee CEO Al Kelly.

“You will be allowed to have food in your car and have drink in your car,” Kelly said via ESPN. “However, you’re not going to be able to take out a lounge chair, you’re not going to be able to take out a grill, and you’re not going to be able to take up more than one parking space. And it’ll all be watched very carefully.”

Who invited Captain Killjoy?

So there you have it, folks. Tailgating is banned and they will be watching. Big Brother will be at the Big Game and there will be no mingling of pork with your pigskin.

Additionally (as if tailgating being banned wasn’t enough), parking will be at a premium. And by “at a premium,” we mean practically unavailable. Around 80,000 football fans are expected to be in attendance and less than 13,000 parking spots will be available. If you think no big deal, you can just get dropped off at the game, think again. No vehicles without a parking permit will be allowed within the security perimeter, including taxis, limos and your uncle Jim’s station wagon. But fans can still walk to the game, right?

Wrong.

“You cannot walk to the Super Bowl,” Kelly said. “You can get your hotel to drop you off at one of the New Jersey Transit locations or get the shuttle to take you to a Fan Express location, but you cannot walk.”

So tailgating is banned AND fans attending the Super Bowl will be forced to use New Jersey’s mass transit? Whose idea was it to host the game at MetLife Stadium anyway?

Tailgating is as much a part of the Super Bowl as the year’s best commercials. They haven’t banned GoDaddy.com, have they? There are fans who excel at tailgating more than their teams excel at football (right, Bucs fans?).

What do you think about tailgating being banned at the Super Bowl? What’s next to be banned from the Super Bowl?