Joel Osteen Makes Unfortunate Masturbation Joke On Twitter, Immediately ‘Rubs It Out’ Of His Feed
Televangelist Joel Osteen made a completely unintentional (and hilarious) masturbation joke on Twitter yesterday. I guess you could say that he’s just so pure of heart that he didn’t know a masturbation joke even as it came out of him.
The megachurch pastor, best-selling author and adherent to the controversial “profit theology” said, and I quote, “A true friend walks in when everybody else walks out. A true friend doesn’t rub it in when you make a mistake. They rub it out.”
We can see where the Lakewood Church founder was trying to go with his words of encouragement, but “rub it out” just drowns out all of his good intentions. Additionally, there are religious implications to sort through.
For instance, can a friend of either sex help you “rub it out?” Is it appropriate to allow a friend of your same sex to assist you in rubbing it out? What about a friend of the opposite sex? Is it appropriate for any friend to assist in the rubbing out, or should the act be reserved for marriage? I’m confused.
Of course, Twitter was confused as well.
“What kind of f***ed up friends do you have?!” wrote user @Evil_Sparky.
“I clearly have the wrong friends,” wrote user @BecketAdams.
“@JoelOsteen can I go to hell for helping a friend rub it out?” wrote @do_rand.
Of course, upon the realization that he probably should have proof-read that one, Osteen deleted the tweet and did not even offer a self-deprecating follow-up.
Oh, and big shout-out to Robert A. George and Jim Antle who left us satisfied and smiling.
Hoping that all these people teasing Joel Osteen for perfectly innocent tweet don’t rub him the wrong way.
— Robert A George (@RobGeorge) October 31, 2013
@jimantle Nonetheless, something like this just tugs at the heartstrings.
— Robert A George (@RobGeorge) November 1, 2013
.@jimantle I’m sure the initial sentiment seemed like a stroke of genius when it first came to him.
— Robert A George (@RobGeorge) November 1, 2013
@jimantle If it turns out that Osteen is paying someone to tweet for him, that person stiffed him.
— Robert A George (@RobGeorge) November 1, 2013
Yes, it was good for us too.
