Trump Promises New ‘Do If He Lands In The White House
Donald Trump has added extra incentive to his campaign for President of the United States. He will don a brand new Conservative Coif, a new Diplomatic ‘do, a new crown for his Orb of Orange.
Trump told attendees at a dinner in Iowa that he would change his hairstyle if elected president, according to an article by the Daily Mail.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVCaa8MsdOQ
The reason, the 69-year-old reality TV star said, is that the current look just takes too long to achieve.
“I would probably comb my hair back. Why? Because this thing is too hard to comb.
“I wouldn’t have time, because if I were in the White House, I’d be working my a** off.”
Trump’s trademark waft of pouf has been one of the most longstanding targets of jokes by his critics as well as one of his greatest mysteries. Amy Lasch, the hairdresser on Trump’s TV series The Apprentice, gave the New York Post a few insights.
“It’s as if he got ready somewhere else first. If I noticed a flyaway that the camera was sure to pick up, I would hold a large mirror up to Donald and ask, ‘Do you want me to fix it?’
“I knew damn well — ask before I raised a finger to that hair.”
According to a former Trump political adviser, the candidate uses aerosol hair spray on his cranial cloud.
“He uses a weird bottle of hair spray. He tried to give it to me once, as a friend. It’s bigger than the biggest can of beer.”
Since Trump’s run for president, the jokes have been flying with greater vigor than ever. But the Donald’s pale swipe has long been prime fodder for talk-show hosts, according to the Joke Index.
“Yesterday in New York City, Donald Trump officially changed his political affiliation from Republican to Independent. And Donald’s hair has switched from pelt to carpet sample.” – Jay Leno
“Donald Trump might be running for president and he just released his birth certificate. It lists his eyes as ‘blue’ and his hair as ‘ridiculous.'” – Conan O’Brien
“Donald Trump has a great campaign slogan: ‘A complex world demands complex hair.'” – David Letterman
“Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama’s birth certificate to make sure that it’s real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump’s hair.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Maybe he should ease into this – by running for a lower office first, like President of the Hair Club for Men.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won’t run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head.” – Conan O’Brien
“According to a CNN poll, Trump nearly doubled his support from March. Actually, he just combed his March numbers over his current ones.” – Conan O’Brien
“Trump is very reluctant to release his tax returns. Either he doesn’t make as much money as he wants people to think he does, or he doesn’t want anyone to know he claims his hairpiece as a dependent.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Donald Trump says he uses Head & Shoulders on his hair. As a result, Head & Shoulders is suing Donald Trump for slander.” – Conan O’Brien
“If Trump does become president, I hope he puts a wig on his plane and calls it Hair Force One.” – Jimmy Kimmel
The constant discussion has raised the question time and again. Just what is the Donald’s hair, really, anyway?
Trump’s hair is made up of implants, according to his ex-wife Ivana’s former hairdresser, Louis Licari.
“I saw him several times in the office of Dr. Norman Orentreich (pioneer of hair implants) in the early ’80s.”
Trump insists that the hair is all his.
“My hair may not be perfect, but it’s mine.
“If it rains, I’ll take off my hat, and I’ll prove once and for all that it’s mine.”
So far, Trump has the last laugh. He has surpassed expectations by dominating the Republican race for candidacy, leaving his opponents in the dust much like the old fable of, well, the tortoise and the hare.
[Image via Albert H. Teich/Shutterstock.com]
