Ragnarok: Thor’s Real End Of The World Is Next Week, Save Us Chris Hemsworth!

The real life Ragnarok is right around the corner, with Norse mythology saying Thor will face the end of the world in 2014. Ironically, Thor has become a household name nowadays thanks to Marvel, so does that mean Chris Hemsworth is expected to the troops into battle for World War 3?

In a related report by The Inquisitr, for Thor 3, Ragnarok is presumed to be topic for the next major film in the series. But instead of Fenrir, the villain is likely to be Loki or a giant fire demon. It’s also rumored that the Agents Of Shield TV show might feature Chris Hemsworth in some fashion in order to set up the sequel.

Back in the real world, the ancient Norseman predicted Ragnarok, which translates into “doom of the gods,” would take place on February 22, 2014 (that’s a Saturday, not Thorsday, unfortunately). Supposedly, the wolf god named Fenrir will kill Odin, Skoll will devour the sun, and his brother Hai will feast on the moon, so in this case World War 3 will be fought by Hemsworth with lots and lots of flashlights as we’re all trapped in eternal darkness.

Despite my joking, the poem portrays a time of great sorrow:

“Brothers will fight and kill each other, sisters’ children will defile kinship. It is harsh in the world, whoredom rife – an axe age, a sword age – shields are riven – a wind age, a wolf age – before the world goes headlong. No man will have mercy on another.”

In short, the world will be transformed into Hollywood.

100 days before Ragnarok is supposed to take place, the Norse god Heimdallr was supposed to blow the horn called Gjallerhorn to warn about the impending Viking end of the world and call all of the sons of Odin to battle from Valhallah. In real life, 91 days ago a horn was blown in the city of York to signal the beginning of the end. The giant oarfish being washed up on shore are said to be a sign of the times in reference to the Midgard Serpent named Jormungand.

Danielle Daglan from the Norvik Viking Centre says the communications methods made possible in the internet age are referred to a verse in the legend, which says, “The first to notice shall be man, brother will fight brother and all the boundaries that exist shall crumble.” So, yes, that means Facebook caused the end of the world. Figures.

Of course, some of the Ragnarok prediction have failed to come true. Prior to the apocalypse, three years of freezing winter were supposed to not be broken up by any summer. And, no, the polar vortex or the bombogenesis do not count… Nor would global warming advocates agree with the idea that we’re headed into a mini-ice age thanks to recent solar flare activity.

February, 22 2014 also happens to be the Viking festival of Jolablot. So the Jorvik Viking Festival will feature men with Thor-like beards celebrating Ragnarok:

“Following a study published in 2010 that bearded men are more trustworthy than those without, we’re also looking for fantastic displays of facial hair, so that we can identify those with the potential to take us into the brave new world that is foretold to follow Ragnarok.”

Maybe that explains the Red Sox beards, as well? I just hope they celebrate in good Thor fashion by throwing the glass down and calling for another.

So while those lucky enough to be close to York will be drinking their sorrows away as Ragnarok washes over the world, those of us stuck in America will probably be considered lucky if we see a hoard of Thor cosplayers marching into battle. Personally, I say movie theaters should celebrate Ragnarok by showing Chris Hemsworth’s Thor movies back to back. How do you plan on celebrating the end of the world in 2014?